Five things nobody tells you about wedding planning

There are so many sources for advice out there but here are some things that nothing really prepared me for:

First things first - what to do BEFORE you set the date

Most people will tell you the first step to planning an event is to set the date. But in my opinion, there are a few steps before that. The real first thing you and your fiancé/e need to discuss is what sort of a wedding you’re envisioning. It’s really easy to get carried away with an idea only to have to change gears when you realise that while you were thinking simple beach wedding with just close friends, your other half was expecting to invite all 50 of their cousins to an all out show-stopping event. Make sure you’re on the same page and can reach a compromise if necessary where you’ll both be happy with the results on the day. Everyone will be telling you that it’s “your day” but it is about you both. Don't sacrifice your vision just to please them if it means you're going to hate the event.

The next step is to decide where you want to have it. If you’re both from the same place, fantastic! But these days more and more families are scattered across the country if not the world so you're probably going to be asking someone to travel to be there. Make the decision that works for you and don't try to accommodate everyone else. Start with the big decisions like which state or city before you go further down the rabbit hole and remember to stick to your guns once you’ve decided! You might be feeling awkward about asking all your relatives to get on a plane but keep in mind they usually have plenty of notice and it’s not unreasonable to ask people to come to you for your big day.

In my case, our families are in different parts of Queensland but we live in Canberra and I grew up in Melbourne. That’s a lot of location choices! Ultimately we decided it would be easiest to plan where we live, even if it means asking both our families to travel to attend - mostly because someone was going to have to travel regardless of where we had it. We also wanted to be able to fit planning in with our lives, rather than having to furiously book in appointments during weekend visits home and ask family or friends to scope out vendors and venues for us. And even though we felt awkward about asking so many people to travel, it worked out perfectly - when we sent out Save the Dates, our relatives were excited to be invited to what they considered a destination wedding!

Picking your location will also make it easier to decide on a date, since you'll be able to take the seasonal weather into account. Few people would want to come to Canberra at the height of Winter for a wedding but the other seasons here are perfectly lovely. (We went with late Spring.)

Next step: Make a budget. It seems pretty obvious but lots of people skip past this and let the cost of things dictate their overall budget. A budget is especially important if you’re paying for most things as a couple, which is increasingly the norm. Figure out how much you can afford to save per pay packet and how long it will take you to reach your overall goal (the average spend on a wedding in Australia is over $36K, and you'll probably need at least $15K to cover costs for a small, simple gathering). Working out your saving timeframe will also help with setting the date since you’ll know when you can pay for it all, especially if you’re set on a particular season - if you need at least ten months to save and Spring is only 6 months away, you might need to push the wedding back a year.

Finally: Decide on a type of venue. Once upon a time you would get married in your local place of worship and have a small reception in its hall or at your parents’ house. These days your options are limitless, from the fanciest of luxury hotels right down to an abandoned warehouse, along with everything in between! Talk about your choice paralysis! This is why I think the previous steps are the most important conversations to start with. By deciding the style and place, believe it or not, you’ve done half the work which will make choosing the location much easier since you’ve set yourselves criteria. Regardless of whether it’s a garden, beach, church, grand hotel or backyard wedding, you’ll know what to look for. Once you’ve eliminated all the things you don’t want, you’ll have a much easier time looking for places that fit the bill! And ultimately unless you're completely set on a specific day, it is the availability of your venues that will influence your wedding date so figuring those things out first will help a lot with negotiating dates.

Good luck!

 

What is TPSB?

This is a planning blog and a how to (and how not to) guide for wedding planning, focussing on vendors based outside of the big cities. Why? Because while planning my wedding in Canberra, I have notice that most online guides and bridal magazines focus on Sydney and Melbourne suppliers with very little out there for those living in other cities or, heaven forbid, in regional areas. That’s if you can find one that is actually based in Australia!

I’m not one of those girls who has been planning her wedding since I was tiny so I was surprised at how much fun I have been having with it all—some might say a little too much fun. So rather than get full blown obsessed with it all, I have teamed up with my big sister, who happens to be a marketing and event planning expert, to run this blog. Everything contained within is our own opinions and of course you don’t have to take any of our advice! There are a million and one wedding blogs out there, I know, so this is mostly just for our own entertainment but hopefully you can find something new and different.