I’m planning a basic bitch wedding but I don’t care

In this age of Pinterest, Etsy and Instagram there can be a real pressure that your wedding must be completely unique, but let’s be honest: most weddings are pretty much identical on the whole. After all, when you boil a wedding down to its basics, it’s about two people in nicer than usual clothes making vows, followed by a party with food and drink.

Even the most outrageously non-traditional weddings will still have those basic ingredients. It’s the details that really bring in your individuality.

So rather than going full hipster and trying to have an “authentic and original” wedding, I am embracing the fact that there have been others pioneering ahead of me and trying to use their planning experiences to inform my own.

After all, when there’s an entire industry to navigate that’s designed to make you rely on someone who profits off your decisions it certainly helps to borrow the map from someone who’s been through it all already.
I have certainly found that despite the myriad of wedding blogs, magazines and forums out there, it can be really hard to find concrete information or even just answers to simple questions like ‘How much does X cost on average?' Fortunately I have Nicola for that!

Being a small city, Canberra has a limited number of venues and vendors.  But one of the benefits of this is you’re bound to know someone who has used the same one before and can give great advice. And there’s the added benefit with word of mouth that I not only get a recommendation from a happy customer, but I can see pictures of what their day looked like.

I’ve found most vendors are familiar with our venue, which is very useful when making decisions, especially if the consultant can show pictures of other events they’ve done there before. This mostly applies to decorations but is also useful for every other vendor, be it a band, florist or even hair and makeup – the fewer people who call asking for directions on the day, the better!!

But then, on some things, I’ve just gone with people I’ve found via Google! After all, I’m planning this thing so I’m going to do it my way (well, our way) and personally, the fewer appointments I have to drag my fiancé to (and go to myself), the better. If I can research online, organise the quote, find out more information and make the booking all via email or a phone call then that suits me best (I know, I know #GenY).

I would much rather do it all in my own time than have to go to an appointment and look through a photo album of pictures I could just as easily see on their website. Plus I don’t have the energy to select every item myself! I am much happier just leaving it to the professionals. If that means I have to be hands-off and risk it turning out a little cookie cutter, who cares?

Besides, it has actually been my experience so far that the vendors get really excited at the opportunity to work their own magic instead of having to try to match someone else’s vision (or copy something from another wedding that you pinned a year ago). They’re in this game because they love it, so why not let them do the work and show off their talent?

Things I’ve booked from just online research and talking over email:

• Florist. Based on her website, this is not the first wedding she’s done this way and from the photos her flowers always look great. I don’t have the time, interest or expertise to pick out each individual type of flower in my bouquet and I shouldn’t need to - she’s the trained professional; her opinion is far more valuable than mine on the topic. Plus how awful would it be to have your heart set on something that isn't available at that time of year?
  
• Hair and makeup. Again, I’ve done my research on their website gallery and Facebook page and am confident they can do a good job, so why spend any more time in trying to obsess over the particular shade and brand of neutral eyeshadow I simply must have? That said, there is a growing Pinboard on my Pinterest of hairstyles. But that's what trials are for, and again, they're the professionals so they should be able to work with what I have (and I'll take a photo of styles I like. I don't want to end up with prom hair up to Jesus).
  
• The cake. We’ll probably do a tasting eventually but really, cake is always good. Even if it’s dry and bland, after a few champagnes I’ll still think it’s amazing! Plus our cake will be served with tea and coffee at the end of the night as a midnight snack so it's not intended as the showstopper. What I liked about my supplier is she has a standard design that you can modify with your individual touches, so after the quote I know not only how much it'll be but what it will look like. And we can choose our flavour.
• Wedding dress. I actually ordered my dress off the catalogue from a stockist store. I had tried on so many dresses and not found any one that I thought was great (and I was not searching for perfection). I had tried on one from the designer that I liked the shape of but the neckline was all wrong and I didn't like the lace - after doing some online research on the rest of the catalogue, I found a dress in the same shape but with my favourite neckline and gorgeous vintage lace. Thanks to the wonders of Google Image, I also managed to track down some photos from real weddings and brides trying it on in stores so I had a really good feel for how it looked in both photos and on different bodies and not just on the model.

TIPS:

• Use Pinterest, magazines and blogs to decide what kind of look you’re going for – it’s a lot easier for the vendors if you can give them a basic brief (ours is ‘garden party’), or even a colour palette (pink, green, gold and white). Then sit back, take your hands off the wheel, and let them do their thing.
• Ask friends for recommendations but don’t feel obligated to go with them. It’s your wedding, not a repeat of theirs.
• Research your vendors. Check out their website, Facebook page and any reviews that might have been posted. That should give you a feel for what they are best at doing.
• Be upfront with your vendors about your expectations. If they are not comfortable with you having a hands-off approach, they’re not the right fit. And if they can’t come up with ideas of their own without your guidance, they’re definitely not right.